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My CaReLeSs WhIsPeR-Think UNIT TRUST, Think Agnes

Saturday, June 23, 2007
I'll Be Missing You
This song is dedicated to our dear fren, Wafi from all of us friends who care so much for him...

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin' on the block for dough
Notorius they got to know that
Life ain't always what it seem to be
Words can't express what you mean to me
Even though you're gone we still a team
Thru your family I'll fulfill your dreams
In the future can't wait to see if you'll
Open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it's real feelings hard to conceal
Can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

It's kinda hard wit you not around
Know you in Heaven smilin' down
Watching us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts, Big (Wafi), I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us and the six, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me takin' flics
Makin' hits, stages they receive you on
Still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death

Somebody tell me why...
One black morning
When this life is over
I know, I'll see your face

Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every move I make
Every single day

(We miss you)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007
In Memory Of Dear Wafi
20th June. Today is the first morning we all woke up, different.

I could have told him that I was going to visit him very very soon and perhaps he could have waited a bit longer for me. But it seemed like things did not turn out that way. There is something I have bought which I was supposed to give it to him when I meet him.

I did not have the chance to. Worse I did not get to see him, not even once after he has been diagnosed with the sickness. Glenn told me about it on the 4th June, 2 weeks later yesterday, I heard from Glenn again but this time, I could really feel like time stopped, I really do not how to describe in words how I felt that moment. I called Siew Lin to find out more, but it turned out that I had to break the heart-breaking news to her instead, in my head, I thought about how I haven’t seen him, how I have not given him something I bought 2 weeks ago, and knowing that I wouldn’t get the chance to see him again. These thoughts kill. But his sufferings were over and he is now resting in peace.

I sent him a sms, telling him to stay strong and that we will all support him no matter what. Juz last Friday, I sent him another sms to give him support…I even had a list of these motivational quotes to send to him once a while, not only I hope they’d give him the will to fight on, also I hope he’d know that I’ll still be around. I wanted to tell him to have confident juz like how he said I’m a confident and a strong girl inside. I guess if I am a more confident person than I used to be, he had his share of contribution. He was the first person as far as I can remember to tell me about it.

He came from the back to bring me to the dance floor during “Hey Waley’. I was so glad that he came over becoz I really really wanted to dance. He let out his hand and invited me to the floor. Towards the end of the day, me and him, claudia and simon, siewlin and gary, were dancing the songs like ‘My boo’, ‘Burn’..etc beside our table. That was such a great prom, I did not have a date, but I did have a dance date that night. I had a wonderful time at “Impression Prom”.

20th November 2005. We hang out in Mp together. Were supposed to watch ‘Chicken Little” but tickets were unavailable. So we ended up chatting for hours in Kenny Rogers. Like he mentioned in his blog, we had a long and interesting conversation, we talked about many things. It was the same month I joined Cubic, I needed to find a heel with the back strap, so he followed me around juz to look for a pair of heel. I remember him saying that he was ok with it as he used to do shopping with his sisters.

Our fren had some funny ideas sometimes. One of them was something about wearing a superman suit to lecture. I know he likes Kristin Kreuk of Smallville. He likes gals dressed in all-white. He likes Jason Lo’s gigs. I’m sure he had a great time at the Hitz.fm bday bash with us all. (me, my sis, glenn, allen, chek, ashwin, kamao) That night, he gave me lots of Biotherm samples and made fun of Same-Same. And I know he really really wanted to go to the Sparc prom 2006 as J.Lo was performing there.

Audrey, glenn, tyco, ccw, kamao, allen, chek….u guys remember our trip to Zouk in May 2005? He met us up in Plaza Low Yat or smth then we walked all the way to Zouk? He and Glenn were walking with me and Audrey at the back. If I remember everything correctly, they were with us all the time. At Zouk, it was becoz of his encouragement, I got up the podium. Else I might not have went up, I dunno. We had so much fun back then, hadn’t we? The next day, we had lunch at a malay stall where he asked me how Melaka was and allen answered him better than Rawang (This is how the place is known to me…The Great City Of Rawang). He also asked the taxi drivers the taxi fare to pudu for us all. We all know why he was the one to do the asking, don’t we?

This year, nobody sms me to tell me about Jusco Members Day Sales anymore. Not from him like previous years.

He got me a card for my birthday 2 years ago. There is something very special about the card that I really like and treasure very much. Becoz of what happened to him, things that he wrote in there make me even sadder now.

There are still many memories with this dear friend of mine. I’d keep them with me always and remember the things he said and told me before. I will never forget him and will forever regard him as my good friend. Each and everyone of us cares about him and misses him a lot. Just like Audrey said, he’d want us to move on. Devastated, we all are. But we should live our lives to the max and realize all our dreams, for ourselves and also for our dearest friend, Wafi.